So my dad asks “does one have to give up all his dignity at the end of his life?” No, not all I tell him but some I think given his condition and his options. “That’s just terrible” he says with tears coming down his cheeks. “Just terrible.” He couldn’t be more right. After more than 93 years of living independently, 63 of which he was married to my mom, the independence is gone. Not coming back. Growing more dependent each week. On his four kids and, much more frightening to him, on three women who stay with him at home around the clock. He’s desperately searching for some alternative, almost every waking hour and right now those waking hours number about twenty a day. That’s a whole lot of time to think. I guess there is no perfect option he repeats. Right again.
My dad has always been a proud man, bent on advising and taking care of others even when the advice and aid are not always wanted. The tide has gone out. It’s low tide for my dad and no high tide is ever returning. So sad to watch.